Archives for February 2021

A Weariness to the Bones

There is no need to go into detail

(Oh thank God!)

about what we are all going through right now.

Wow… I just had an interesting thought.

(I knew it was too good to be true. Rats.)

I started out thinking that we were all experiencing a shared feeling about how life is right now. But I think I’m wrong. Oh yes, on the furthest pulled back view it could LOOK like that. But when you really think about it in the details, it’s nothing of the sort.

Each of us is experiencing life from our personal lens. Now this has always been true but right now there is such a layer of weird… no, let me rephrase that, there are so many layers of weird on our perceptions that it is impossible to get a good grasp on any situation.

It’s like we were perhaps used to viewing the world with bifocals. You could change your magnification easily with a slight adjustment. Now it seems to me we are looking at things with kaleidoscope lenses. And it’s not the fun kind like Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds either.

For the last three days I have limited my exposure to the news to about 15 minutes a day. I cannot tolerate any more than that. I am exhausted on almost every level.

And that brings me to the original impulse to write here.

Today I went out to Hen’s Rest to say hello. It’s been WAY too cold to spend any time out there for a long time now. But the sun is out and there’s no storm today so I thought maybe I’d chance it.

Here’s the temperature:

Not exactly cozy.

But I sat and admired its wonderfulness for a few minutes anyway.

I cannot tell you the effect that little building has on me. I was acutely aware of it today. It’s like I can breathe calmly. Certain things drop away immediately. Maybe it’s my version of a Tardis from Dr. Who. I don’t know. All I know is that it is a palpable thing.

I decided to try an experiment. I turned on my little electric stove and came inside and set a timer for one hour. Alexa is going to remind me when to go back out. I want to see how much [if at all] it warms up.

I NEED to be out there. At this point it’s a matter of sanity.

*** Later***

Well this is disappointing.

One hour of running the heater and it went down a degree. The sun went down. That was not in my favor. Ah well.

Even though it makes all the men in my family nervous, I would love to put in a small woodstove out there. 🙂 Wouldn’t that be fun?

(That idea even makes ME nervous. Don’t do it.)

Is that a dare?

(I take it back.)

Too late.